A.D.D.'ers Get More Exercise

Need to shed a few pounds?

Planning on toning up those legs?

Need to get up off the couch?

Well have I got a deal for you!

…Ok maybe not, but I am fascinated by some infomercials and thought it might be fun to channel a little Billy Mays to kick things off.  And just for the record, Oxy Clean does remove stains like fire removes eyebrows.  Just sayin’.

Anyway,

Whats my point in all this?  Well its exactly as the title suggests.  I theorize that A.D.D’ers may actually get more exercise than the average Joe.  Lets look at my genius hypothesis…

Wife: Honey, can you grab a few things from our room for me?  Cora (my daughter) needs a fresh diaper, a baby wipe, a bottle, and I could sure use the glass of water I left on my night stand.

Zach: Sure babe!

*Zach gets up from the couch, heads downstairs, and immediately becomes distracted by the hat he had been looking for in the previous week*

*Zach runs back upstairs*

Zach: Honey!  I found my hat!

Wife: Cool babe… Poopy diaper.  Please send emergency relief.

Zach: Oh… Right.  Be right there!

*Back down the stairs.  Grabs diaper.  Back up the stairs*

Zach: Here ya go babe.  A fresh diaper for my sweet-pea!

Wife: Thanks Honey, but I cant wipe that bum with my hand.

Zach: Oh… Right.  Be right back!

*Back down the stairs. Grabs baby wipe. Back up the stairs*

Zach: Ok!  Poo be gone!

Wife: Thanks honey!  Did you remember my water?

Zach: Oh… Right.  Please hold!

*Back down the stairs.  Snags water bottle.  Back up the stairs*

Zach: Here…. Here you go babe. *sweating… Gasping for air*

Wife: Thanks babe! *kiss on the cheek*

Now just look at all the exercise I got!  By the end of that fiasco, my legs were on fire, I had broken a sweat, and my blood was pumping!  I’m thinking of starting one of those weight loss shows, except it wouldn’t be that interesting because I would always forget what we were doing, or I’d stop to pet the nice doggy and make faces at the baby passing by, possibly pausing for an iced coffee, cuz it just sounded so good even though I’m pretty sure caffeine makes my brain move at warp speeds, and then drops down again, looking something like, if Grumpy Cat were a brain…

Well that seems to be all I can muster for the moment.

Until next time kids.  Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.